well here's the best quote I ever heard and I'll ruin the contest by giving you who said it (you'd never guess anyway). Our old coach at Charles F. Brush High School in Lyndhurst in the late 60s' and early 70's, Bob Knuth, came up with this one...
"There's nothing certain in this game except the National Anthem, and they even blew that at Shaker Heights..."
Similar to that bruce, my old coach used to have a great one for our rival Sandy Valley.
"We beat them in everything. We beat them in football, basketball, baseball, shuffleboard and tiddly winks. There is no way that Sandy Valley can beat us."