Exactly, OCF. No one's objecting at all. Just stating that it's not some outrage/embarrassment that we didn't have one. The mere fact that: 1.) This started a thread and 2.) Has prompted such debate ... is quite surprising.

I'm quick to defend the decision because I can place myself in their shoes. Were I part of the athletic department, I don't think I would have thought of having one either. That doesn't make me cold-hearted, just human. The event was not at the top of my mind at the basketball game. As has been alluded to, for many of us, sports is an escape.

Next time you think something is worthy of a moment of silence, make your feelings known before the game. Bemoaning it after the fact accomplishes absolutely nothing.

Not sure I'm with you on this. Caring can only be measured by whether or not we DO something? Is that what you're saying? Since most of us are not DOING something, than by definition, we don't care? The families of those killed certainly care, but I'm not sure they are doing anything, other than grieving.

To Fox, and friends,

The families are responding to a stimulus, the death of a loved one. But that doesn't mean they care. They'll show they care by going to the wake or funeral (a decision that is at the very least a sacrifice of time). They'll show they care by honoring their dead loved one by doing almost anything they see fit (fundraising, public speaking, donating their time, adopting a child, etc. etc.). Time will be the real litmus test for how much they care. Some parents will do none of the above but still care. Caring beyond a certain point is unhealthy. Some parents can never recover from the death of their child. They throw their own life away. Either by drowning themselves in the activities inspired by the death of their child or becoming a shut-in. By no longer interacting with society,  that inaction actually becomes the action the proves they care. All sorts of people handle all sorts of situations including death differently. I'm not here to say whether caring is right or wrong.

I personally don't care about these kids dying because I didn't care about them while they were living. I make that distinction in order to maintain as much rational integrity as possible. I also don't even see this as a national tragedy so I'm not compelled to care for love of country. (I see it as a family and community tragedy, at the most rational extreme a state of Connecticut tragedy)

But I am here to say caring is doing. Merely thinking about a lost loved one is not caring until the thinking draws an appreciable amount of energy that would have been spent on other actions. (The emotional drain becomes the action of caring).

To draw an analogy for anyone who's hit their head on a stairwell overhang. When it happens, when someone hits their head on a stairwell overhang, it hurts just about anyone (think same kind of stimulus from the shooting). But if it's not your stairwell, why would you go fix it? Some people won't even fix the overhang when they're the owner of the house. Some people would. Some people are honestly those outliers who will fix that overhang (donate their time to troubled youths, go physically protest for some cause that they believe will solve the problem) when it's not their problem. Another small fraction will fix that overhang if it belongs to a lonely fragile old lady who keeps hitting her head on it. (the old lady represents the weak, cancer, children, et cetera). Then most of us, even though we ourselves were hurt by hitting our head on the overhang (a solvable problem), we are not compelled to fix it because we don't care. Or at the very least care enough.

I would say that having a moment of silence for victims that never even knew it took place scores so low in magnitude in terms of action (or energy expended) that I round it to zero.

Neither do I. You are certainly entitled to your opinion, but you and I are so far apart on this, it's not worth discussing further.

WOW again. How would you feel is your 6 year old son/daughter was murdered at school? Yeah, let's just sweep this under the rug.

And no, we obvioulsly do NOT feel the same way about such tragedies. Clearly these do not impact you.

Fox,

How many friends/ acquaintances did you have in college that you have never seen or communicated with since graduation? How many of those people would you have gone to their funeral had they died while you were at OU? If the parents asked you at the reception about the death, you would've responded that your heart was broken, or some other default response more fitting to your personality type like how sorry you were for their loss. 

And here all along you've had all these years to talk to that friend/acquaintance that died in the fictional scenario but you never have. And it's a testament to how much you really care about them. (life choices, jobs, and geography as reason for separation do not detract from the conscious choice to not spend time or interact with that person).

You might rebuttal that you were grieving about their loss of opportunity in life and that the loss of that opportunity was not dependent on you keeping in touch. But I'd be waiting with a rebuttal to your response.

I believe we are probably pretty close on a lot of ideologies including this one. But more honest self reflection by many people would be required for us to reach an agreeance.

Even if you don't respond, the discussions where people believe they stand furthest apart, those are the the discussions I value most.

Better at what? Apathetic about what? Be specific. You don't know me. You don't know my virtues. You don't know who or what I care about or fight for. You wouldn't even come close.

As for growing up, it appears like you missed out on some serious intellectual development.

Jerry your response was so soft.

You're going to take a stance so extreme that kids were better (so vague) than me? But then you're going to say oh that's just your opinion though. I bet you're a guy that believes in equality. But somehow, for the rational stance I've taken, a stance that I've logically supported, I'm less of a human being than these kids who were killed. I've got a college degree. Statistically how many of these kids would have wound up on food stamps from their own apathy towards life?

Your emotions dictate your decisions. That's cool bro. I've got logic on my side. Logic will prevail.

You know the funny thing about loving your neighbor? They're your neighbor. They don't live 600 miles away.

I agree - with all. Different strokes for different folks. Have mercy on us all - and let's let this one go.

Still not a word about the real issue.

Our capacity to care about someone, is not dependent upon our activities with that person. As human beings, we have the ability to feel empathy for others--even those with whom we have no personal relationship. You seem to believe that we can--and should--only grieve for a select, small set of people, the people with whom we have very close relationships. I totally disagree.

Thanks, SBH.  I know it's about as controversial as it gets.  But, with all regard for what happened, some thought about being able to prevent the next one seems warranted,

I nominate this thread for locking.