URGENT UPDATE . . . URGENT UPDATE . . . URGENT UPDATE . . . URGENT UPDATE . . . URGENT UPDATE
Below is a post that I made a while back in this thread, however recent development require an update. First, here is the original post:
This brings up a delicate question: Since it's now been proven that the two biggest black holes in the known universe are located precisely in the center of the Oxford Tech and Temple campuses, can anyone design an instrument delicate enough to figure out which of these two foci sucks the most? This is a very difficult scientific question. Luckily scientists at Ohio's Russ College of Engineering are hard at work on the problem and have developed the world's first SuperSuck-o-Meter. Though final results of their studies won't be released until football season starts, preliminary studies have discovered that contrary to all expectations Temple seems to suck more then Oxford Tech. This was very puzzling to the Russ investigators because tree ring analysis has indicated that historically nothing had sucked more than Oxford Tech. One theory has been developed to explain the anomaly of the preliminary analysis of the current data. It seems that the presence of Charlie Coles has resulted in slightly lower amplitude of suckyness coming from Oxford in recent years and has skewed the historical data.
Now, with Charlie Coles no longer coaching at Miami, the Russ Engineering SuperSuck-o-Meter is indicating a sudden return of greater suckage to Oxford, Ohio. In fact, this great concentration of suckage has put the SuperSuck-o-Meter at a level of 60 over S-9, indicating a Red Alert. This means that anyone traveling in or near Oxford is in imminent danger of being sucked into the vortex of no return. Fortunately, the Russ Engineering scientists have developed a personal anti-suckage device (PASD) that Ohio athletes and fans can carry with them on any trips to Oxford that can neutralize the effects of the Oxford black hole vortex. Please do not venture to Oxford without your PASD. Due to a little known section of the ObamaCare Bill, the federal government will pay for your PASD as long as you can prove that you were never enrolled as a student at Miami and, therefore, have uncovered pre-existing redchickenitis.
Last Edited: 1/30/2013 4:33:55 PM by OhioCatFan