Why Groce Left:
1) The Rufus incident
2) He saw that thing you did to the the other thing
3) Could never get a copperhead or rattler at Sunday service - just a garter snake. Damn church elders...
4) No one would say hi to him on the golf course
5) No awesome video jumbotron in the Convo
6) Because of what you did to that Marilyn Monroe book in Alden Library (sickest thing I ever saw in Athens)
7) Never had a chance to put in Bridge
8) Supposed imminent addition of Western Kentucky to the MAC never happened
9) He could buy a lot more MegaMillions tickets with the new Illinois deal
10) Poor selection of urinal cakes in the locker room
11) Because you didn't prevent forest fires
Thanks a lot...