See, here's what really happened. 

As the team bus still was a couple miles from the arena, it broke down.  Coaches told players to go to the nearby McDonalds.  All ordered Big Macs and happily bit into their burgers - which were tainted with contaminated horsemeat. 

Within 30 minutes, all players had the heaves. 

The coaches, a resourceful group, divided into pairs and started entering other restaurants, bars and a bowling alley.  They looked around for young men who bore striking resemblances to Cooper, Baltic, Offut, Wilkens, etc. 

"Hey guys," they shouted above the dins, "we've got some cool green basketball uniforms.  They say OHIO across the front. Do you wanna play some hoops in front of a national TV audience?"

In all those establishments, the coaches were rewarded with choruses of "Cool, Dude." 

So, there you have it.  Taking the court last night against the Belmont Bruins were impostors.